The 1992 film Singles, remains one of my favorite movies of all time. For anybody not familiar, the flick is set in Seattle during the grunge era of the early 90’s and follows the dating successes and failures of several twenty-somethings whose main bond is the same apartment complex. In one particular scene Steve Dunne, (Campbell Scott) starts talking to his grungy friends about his new love interest Linda Powell (Kyra Sedgwick) and uses the following to describe he
“If I had a personal conversation with God, I would ask him to create this girl.”
Two years ago this coming weekend a woman entered my life that, while not knowing at the time, would drastically change it forever. The year prior to our meeting had been, for me, one of introspection, learning, and character building. While dating on and off (more off than on), I finally came to the realization that trying to fit a round peg into a square hole doesn’t make a very good relationship strategy. And much like buying a car, if I don’t know what I’m looking for, then I’m liable to buy the first thing that peaks my interest then all too quickly suffer the consequences of buyer’s remorse. After dating a few lemons early in the year, I made the decision to turn my focus inward. At which point I began an intensive internal overhaul whose result was someone far different than before I started. I say this because had I not gone through the pain and misery that often comes with soul- cleansing, I would not have been emotionally and spiritually ready to receive the blessing that was about to come my way.
I say blessing because there is absolutely no doubt that meeting the Queen was divine intervention. And by divine I mean God! It was a rainy, cold, and plain ugly night that early January. A friend and I had gone to watch a game at a popular sports bar, and I had decided early on that I was laying off the sauce that night. Upon leaving the place we were determined to head home. Getting within a mile of my house, we pass a favorite hole-in-the-wall and for some inexplicable reason decided to stop. I distinctly remember this as it was raining hard enough to make me think the apocalypse was beginning and I was still wondering had we were doing this. As we were standing around like statues, two blondes show up and take seats at the bar; one orders jet fuel and the Queen gets a drink that doesn’t require identification. I later found out that she was the DD and her friend confessed at having to drag her out of the house that night.
At this point I must confess something, I’ve never had game, period. If I could ever get past that uncomfortable opening line I usually took the ball and ran with it. But most times I’d rather chew glass than ever make the cold call, especially to a girl so far out of my league as she is. So after standing close enough to both of them for a hand shake yet never getting the nerve to say anything, her friend goes to the restroom and the Queen turns and asks “What’s the score of the game?” And the rest, as they say, is history (I told you I did ok after the opening).
Had I known that night this woman would be the greatest thing to ever walk into my life, I’d have put my big boy underwear on and said something, but instead she will always have the credit for making the first move and I’m totally OK with that. Our date the next day was at church and you’ll find us around those same seats most Sundays.
My relationship with her is obviously not my first but it will certainly be my last. Ours is the only one I have ever experienced that just gets better with time. When most relationships start tapering off or losing some of that spark, usually after the butterflies wear off, ours only gets more intense and deeper. Our relationship is unconventional by today’s standards. Living together isn’t for us, marriage is inevitable but not on the immediate horizon, we don’t have sleep overs with kids because we believe that when children are involved our personal desires take a back seat, and we strive to keep our faith at the center of it all.
She is the only woman that, without trying, makes me want to be a better man. To say I’m blessed that she is in my life is a complete understatement and I can’t imagine where I would be without her in it. Some of the qualities that make her so special are
- She is a sensational mother.
- She has a successful career doing what she loves.
- We still text each other like we first met
- I trust her completely.
- She is my best friend and confidant.
- She has inexhaustible patience.
- She is stunningly beautiful.
- She gives me another point of view to consider.
- When necessary, she is the Yin to my Yang.
- I completely respect her opinion and continually seek her wisdom and guidance.
- She doesn’t need a pill to make it through the day.
- She is great with money.
- She has her act totally together.
- She is a super talented artist.
- She is always trying to better herself physically and spiritually.
- We like the same music and don’t care for TV.
- She loves to ride motorcycles as much as I do.
My Queen, thank you for being who you are, for loving me the way you do, and for sharing your life with me. All of my love! Happy Anniversary!
God, thank you for listening.