To say that I had a sheltered childhood would be a serious understatement. It wasn’t because my parents were conservative religiophiles with a minimal entertainment threshold or who believed television a window to hell, it’s just that we lived in the middle nowhere. The real world stopped where the pavement ended for fear of not getting back out. Let me put it like this, I still have vivid memories of using out-houses because plumbing hadn’t made it this far and I didn’t have cable until college.
Growing up in this rural somewhat detached community led to an initial outlook on life that was a bit rudimentary. Particularly for me in the area of women. Through watching the females in our family, I grew up believing all women to be nurturing, sensitive, honorable, forthright, and genetically incapable of nasty behavior. In other words they’re infallible, perfect creatures whose angelic qualities were necessary to offset the chaos brought on by the human male.
As I prepared for college, with its abundance of dating opportunities, I had every expectation the girls I’d meet would possess those same characteristics. And even after I was cheated on by my first real love or when my waterbed was cut by a girl I wouldn’t go out with, I still refused to believe women had a dark side.
It’s been almost two decades since and in that time I’ve known and dated just about every conceivable make and model of woman. And through those experiences I’ve finally came to a realization that’s in contradiction to what I thought as a kid.
Women can be evil.
Not just evil but vindictive, jealous, petty, and mean-spirited are other fitting adjectives.
Admittedly some women are driven to these foul behaviors by the men in their life and the ensuing stupidity that comes as a result. But over the years, some of the most unpleasant behavior I’ve seen women dish out wasn’t leveled at boyfriends or husbands but reserved for the unlikeliest of targets – other women.
Females have a gene that apparently gives them the ability to see another female and within seconds know if she will like her or not, no interaction or words exchanged, just a glance and a conclusion. And should that stranger get the thumbs-down pretty soon what she’s wearing, her hairstyle, or her shoes become fair game. Now this stranger looks like a slut, is way to flirty, has on too much makeup, and those shoes don’t match her purse; all because she’s too skinny, has a great body, or is getting more attention. And if all else fails, she gets labeled ‘bitch’ by default.
But this isn’t just with strangers, best girl friends can go fist-to-cuff over the slightest indifference calling each other every name in the book (those a guy would be drawn and quartered for) and three days later act as if none of it ever happened. Chalking it all up to ‘her time of the month’ over laughs and apple martinis.
It’s well documented that men abide by an unspoken hierarchical system. Anytime two or more men are in the same room, each is trying to see where they rank on this scale, their job, the arm-candy, car, even their watch can factor into the formula. It’s a vile little game I thought only the male gender played, I now understand I was wrong.
Women have their own ranking system that isn’t much different from their male counterparts but with a twist. Unlike the men who usually acknowledge one guy is higher up the food chain and leave it at that, women may concede but it’s going to come with a condition.
“She has that big beautiful house, but has no sex life”
“She’s gorgeous, but it’s easy to look like that if you can get Botox all the time”
“She has a great job, but never spends time with her kids”
“I’d have a body like that to if I could go to the gym everyday”
Some might snap back, “I’m not like that!” Are you sure? You’ve never made a negative judgment call about a woman simply because of her model looks, 6-figure job, tight physique, or those $1300 Jimmy Choo shoes all of which you wish you had?
When I asked the Queen, (who admitted she’s been there) she felt and I tend to believe that in an attempt to feel better about herself a woman will defend her own inadequacies by directing criticism towards the person(s) who reminds her of what she’s lacking. That by raining on Cinderella’s parade, it will somehow make her own day a little brighter.
But here is the kicker; I don’t think this is a quality passed down from generation to generation. My grandmothers and mother certainly weren’t like this and chances are yours didn’t have this proclivity either. Which means it’s a learned habit that’s spiritual suicide – plus it’s really unattractive.
So I ask you dear reader, is the Queen’s right? And if not where is it coming from and more importantly why does it happen? As the modern woman climbs higher up the corporate ladder making her own way in the world is she conversely contracting those same nasty symptoms that are a side-effect? If so, is this behavior then a form of cheap therapy for dealing with them?