The color and lettering of the sign match the eatery’s overall rustic décor and blended nicely against the paneled wall it adorned. The message, simple
Someone better might simply have laughed off this relational bucket list to the derangement of a few middle aged women under the influence of Two-Buck Chuck. I on the other hand wanted to rush home and blast off a scathing bloggy retort . Fortunately discretion remains the better form of valor however a watered down rejoinder will soon be forthcoming.
It seems that women’s requisites for a man are as varied as the women themselves. Granted there are a select few universal requirements which apply to any man such as honesty, confidence, intelligence, and a Ferrari; but when that gleam in your eye is courtesy of a single dad a garage full of exotic sports cars won’t make up for one vital male characteristic.
It continues to amaze me, as I surf about the Internet, at the number of women lamenting on their boyfriend’s recently formed character flaw such as his lying, wandering eye, or another frayed strand of moral fiber. To the damsels’ defense while these newfound attributes were likely always there, he was just adept at keeping them hidden long enough to get what he was looking for. But as they say the truth comes out (in around 90 days) – no one can keep up charades forever.
One of the many pains of dating is deciphering what is real and what is candidly – bullshit. Since conducting background checks reek of stalkerish psychopath there are few ways a woman can learn about a man’s true character other than the proverbial trial by fire. But if that man should be a single dad there is a truth serum far more potent and telling than anything cooked up in a CIA lab.
If you find yourself contemplating a relationship with a single father the first thing you want to learn, even before his credit score or rap sheet is – what kind of father is this guy?
His qualities as a dad will say more about his character and integrity than anything else. I had a friend once who’s 20-something year old daughter began dating a guy who had fathered a child from a previous relationship. He rarely saw his son, never talked about him, and by all accounts contributed nothing financially. Then, by the cruelest of fates, she became pregnant. You can well deduce without a PhD in Psychology what happened next.
Ladies let me be candid with you, a man who will not, does not, or can not take care of his children will never treat you any better. There is absolutely NO valid excuse under the sun that justifies a man walking out on his children – ever. I knew an acquaintance that, upon separation, was faced with the prospect of losing his lake house as part of the splitting up of assets. Sensing an opportunity to move back with her family a day’s drive away the soon-to-be-ex-wife offered to give up her interest if she could take their kids – he readily agreed. This father traded in his children for a good view. He now sees them a few weeks every summer and a couple of other times a year – all so he could keep a lake house. If he treated his kids that way, how much better would he treat a woman?
Let’s not forget it’s called dating for a reason and that should include questions like. How often does he see his kids? How close are they? Does he take them on trips? What does he do with them over the holidays? Does he miss them when he hasn’t seen them for a while? Is he involved at their school events? Does he attend their sporting events? Does he meet his financial obligations? Then make sure he proves it!
At the first hint a man begins making excuses for why he isn’t involved in his children’s’ lives – RUN! Tell him to get his priorities straight and then give you a call. If he doesn’t pay his child support yet wants to take you on a vacation – RUN! If his kids aren’t a priority you won’t be one for long either. Please, please, please ladies don’t be misled by thinking that because he’s met you somehow he’ll now get his act together. First, you’re not that special and second he’ll only change long enough to get what he wants. Yeah there’s the off chance you might get him to do a 180, but if Vegas doesn’t take those odds you shouldn’t either.
What seems so obvious to me is a complete miss by so many women. Heed the advice, the heart you save might be your own.