I was the first guy in my circle of friends who ever got divorced when mine began seven years ago. While my ex sought advice from girlfriends, relatives, and a tarot card reader, I went it alone. My solo endeavor wasn’t necessarily by choice, I was simply to embarrassed to admit I had failed at a marriage. And at the time most divorce advice books were being written by attorneys that happened to include, on the last page, a tear out coupon for “one free initial consultation”.
As I look back over those years and all of the bone-headed mistakes I made after my divorce I often wonder how things would have been different had I sought the advice and counsel of others who had already been on this path I was barreling down so blindly. How might my financial situation be different, what about my emotional, spiritual, and mental state?
As the horizon on my life draws closer and the years in the rearview get more ample those those in the windshield I realize how little I really know and what I thought I knew I’m now second guessing. Fortunately, that pompous twenty something year old who convinced himself he was the smartest man on the planet was kicked to the side of the road a few miles back.
The original mission of this website has always been that of a resource for single and divorce dads – and moms – to get a different insight, perspective, and opinion on being a parent in the modern family primarily through leveraging the experiences, mistakes, and successes I’ve had in my own co-parenting journey. In other words to be that guy who’s already ‘been there’. You see I’ve always subscribed to the belief:
Experience is a great teacher but somebody else’s experience is a better one.
Several months ago I was approached by Nicole Baras Feuer, co-founder of the Start Over Smart Expo, about participating in the first of its kind divorce expo. The purpose of the 2-day event is to
provide a central gathering place for women and men navigating the divorce process as they seek information, services, and expert guidance from trusted professionals.
As I listened to Nicole talk about her vision the following thought kept surfacing: “Where was this when I was getting divorced?” To have been in an environment with other people who are or have gone through the same thing would have been invaluable. Because anyone who has been through the ending of a marriage knows the sheer amount of emotional turmoil alone is enough to put one in a catatonic state. Yet with divorce rates as high as 60% there are still countless numbers of people who go through the entire break-up alone – at the detriment to themselves and their kids.
Start Over Smart is out to change all of that by creating an opportunity where people already divorced, those going through or about to go through can come together to learn from experts and those who have “been there”. By providing this outlet they intend to equip others with the necessary tools to navigate the divorce process more effectively.
So it was with great pride that I agreed to be a part of the first ever Start Over Smart Expo in New York City.
The event will be held:Saturday and Sunday March 31-April 1, 2012 Metropolitan Pavilion 125 West 18th Street New York City
Getting to the Other Side of Divorce: For Men
On Sunday at 10:00 AM I will be speaking individually, my presentation is titled
Into the Fog – On becoming a Single Dad and Dude
For more information visit the Expo’s website: Start Over Smart Expo NYC
If you’re in the New York area and plan to attend stop by and say hello.