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Chick-fil-A, gay marriage, and the fallacy of intolerance
On a winter morning in 1994 Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu, or as the world knew her Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, speaking at a National Prayer Breakfast in Washington D.C. stood before world leaders, influencers, and policymakers and proclaimed in a soft clear but fearless voice,“If we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another?” and “Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want.”
That day, surrounded by supporters of the pro-choice movement including a President and Vice President she set forth her convictions remaining completely indifferent to the differing opinions of those around her. She walked headlong into the lion’s den totally confident in her rightness.
Were these words, from a humble nun, arrogant and small-minded? Did her critical views of abortion typify those of a callous and self-righteous individual who lacks depth of understanding and acceptance of differing points of view? Or to put another way was Mother Teresa intolerant?
•♦•
The political deprecation and general hate mongering brought about in response to Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy professing he’s “guilty as charged” in his support of traditional marriage has leveled further accusations against him and his company of insensitivity and bigotry.
In an interview with the Baptist Press Cathy says,
“We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that…we know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”
The backlash his remarks produced included threats from the Mayors of Boston and Chicago who hoped to make future openings of Chick-fil- restaurants in their respective cities ‘difficult’. And in typical fashion the Internet erupted calling once again for a full court press of boycotts against the conservatively operated eatery; all because its CEO expressed views counter to what others believed. In a letter to Cathy, Philadelphia city councilman James Kenney wrote,“I am entitled to express my opinion as well, so please – take a hike and take your intolerance with you. There is no place for this type of hate in our great City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection.”
•♦•
I like loud motorcycles and Ranch dressing while possessing utter contempt for Brussels sprouts and Good Morning America. I make that distinction to make this point; it’s impossible for me to tolerate loud bikes and Ranch – because I like them. Would it be necessary to tolerate extra money in the bank, a surprise trip to Fiji, or a raise? Of course not, these are things any sensible human being would enjoy, what exactly is there to be tolerant of? So by definition, if it isn’t possible to tolerate what I like and approve of that can mean I only tolerate what I don’t like or approve of. Without disagreement tolerance is unnecessary.
Cathy is being criticized for his opposition to gay marriage choosing instead to follow a biblical view of matrimony. In the interview he expressed his opinion and more importantly his basis for it, yet instead of simply acknowledging his different viewpoint, accepting his right to possess it, and disputing those opposing beliefs, any who disagreed chose to label him intolerant, sanctimonious, and judgmental. Why?
The traditional view of tolerance was based upon a respect for the individual and his or her right to an opinion. Tolerance was focused on the person while the view was secondary. Though I may feel those beliefs were categorically wrong, I could accept him for his right to have one while rejecting the viewpoint itself. In other words we can “agree to disagree”. I love the Queen even though she likes Good Morning America and watches it daily.
However our contemporary view of tolerance is vastly different and immensely wrong; instead of respecting the person and his or her right to an opinion, tolerance has shifted away from the individual onto the belief itself. It works like this, not only must I accept your right to a different outlook, I must also accept your opinion – plus endorse it – regardless of how it might clash with my own. Now I must believe both of our views are right. And should I fail to do so or attempt to draw lines differentiating right and wrong– I am labeled intolerant, arrogant, and judgmental by those who fall into the wrong category.
•♦•
There are few human achievements more noble than living by one’s convictions. In other words, the ability for a person to develop a set of core beliefs based upon traits such as honesty, integrity and compassion, fasten their personal character and conduct to them, then stay true to those principles no matter the personal cost. It should be noted it’s these types of people we follow into battle, want our children to look up to, and hope will lead our country.
But here’s the caveat, to live with conviction means, by definition, we must choose one way over another. This is right, that is wrong. While our views may change over time, we still must make a choice, otherwise chaos ensues if we allow everything to be acceptable. And living with such absolutes pisses people off, royally. Should their viewpoint be in direct contrast to the opinion being expressed their morality is called into question. As Cathy said, “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family.” - Or to say another way, his definition of family is right and every other definition is wrong. And anytime lines such as these are drawn the easiest and most provoking response is to tag the person as judgmental and intolerant.
Mother Teresa was vehemently opposed to abortion liking it to acts of violence and murder, making those who abort children out to be cold blooded killers. Her convictions and her basis for them forced others to question their own ethical views. There’s well over one-million abortions performed every year in the US, alone. Is it plausible that Mother Teresa, arguably the greatest humanitarian of the twentieth century, was intolerant and judgmental towards those millions of women? Would she be described as arrogant and moralizing because she refused to accept the right of women to do with their bodies as they please? Should her Missions of Charity in Calcutta be boycotted as a result of her denunciation?
Or, like Dan Cathy, should they both be commended for living by their convictions no matter the personal cost – and shouldn’t that be something we all strive for?
Chic-fil-A might be choking on a large pill, but Mr. Cathy is a very intelligent and astute businessman, well aware that his comments would be polarizing.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions — we are humans, after all, with our brains. If you are a normal human being, you think for yourself (or at least you should). Therefore, just like Mr. Cathy has his view points, so do I: I do not agree with Mr. Cathy’s position, but he is entitled to believe what he wants and say what he believes. I am not about to castrate him, but I can do what I have found works well in a capitalistic society: I won’t be giving him my money. He’ll hurt in the purse, and that’s good enough for me. Thankfully, that’s easy. I’ve never, ever been in a Chic-fil-A, and at this point, I won’t be putting it on my #foodie bucket list. Money talks — and loudly.
I will also make this point: If history has taught us nothing, those with the most sanctimonious positions often fall from grace, are the absolute worst examples and if we knew what they did behind closed doors, we would more than blush. People in glass houses should not throw stones. I won’t say Mr. Cathy should have kept his clap shut because he can say what he wants, and since it is clear he is no puppet, he has to reap what he has sown.
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“sanctimonious positions” — Interesting choice of words BPS. Which begs this question what makes a position sanctimonious? Is any belief that calls to question another’s way of living deemed self righteous? What is the line drawn?
Free speech. I support gay marriage, I’d still eat at Chick Fil A. He said what he said respectfully and honestly. He did not condemn or vilify anyone in saying it.
Lori, he didn’t come out and condemn it simply said he doesn’t believe in it. Likewise others said they do believe in it.
Leave it at that, frankly I think it makes the entire gay rights movement look like a bunch of cry babies who can’t have the toy the want and decides to throw a fit.
I’m glad to know this! My children & I love to eat @ Chick-fil-A, and for the CEO to be a supporter of the biblical view points of the family is a big plus! Our convictions mold us into the person we are to be. GOD gave us a freedom of choice…wrong way/right way (our own way/HIS way). The first thing that came to my mind when I read others view points was this: “let God be true but every man a liar” Before I became a born-again (Acts 2:38) believer @ the age of 23 yrs … I KNEW certain beliefs were wrong (gay marriages/abortions). I’m am proud when a man or women stand up for their GODly convictions! But also get infuriated when a person who doesn’t like it & can tear down a person for those GODly. I have family members that don’t live a GODly life & when I mentions my view points on certain topic/convictions…they fight me. Why? Because they don’t want me to preach to them! Well I don’t appreciate their worldly ways being shoved down my throat…so this will always be a constant battle between the believer & non-believer!
My quote came from Romans…read more to understand the content. The bible speaks about us being cut (circumcised) in the heart rather than the flesh…as they were required in the days of old.
Romans 2:29 but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from God.
Romans 3:1-10 What advantage then has the Jew, or what is the profit of circumcision? Much in every way! Chiefly because to them were committed the oracles of God. For what if some did not believe? Will their unbelief make the faithfulness of God without effect? Certainly not! Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar. As it is written:
“That You may be justified in Your words,
And may overcome when You are judged.”[a]
But if our unrighteousness demonstrates the righteousness of God, what shall we say? Is God unjust who inflicts wrath? (I speak as a man.)Certainly not! For then how will God judge the world?
For if the truth of God has increased through my lie to His glory, why am I also still judged as a sinner? 8 And why not say, “Let us do evil that good may come”?—as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just.
What then? Are we better than they? Not at all. For we have previously charged both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin.
As it is written:
“There is none righteous, no, not one;
Yes we have a choice to our own opinions/convictions/beliefs…but whose opinions/convictions/beliefs really counts? I believe the report of the LORD!
It appears that intolerance is not one-sided. Intolerance of another’s opinion in a free society is just as bigoted. We may not agree or like another’s opinion, but that’s what separates this country from a communist country, where everything is “sanitized” before you get a chance to hear the opinion.
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“Intolerance of another’s opinion in a free society is just as bigoted’
Agree, it’s hard not to make the argument those objecting are far more intolerant than they claim Cathy is.
I’m a Christian too. I attend a Pentacostal Church. I feel like I know the Bible well enough to laugh at Dan Cathy calling male-female marriage “Biblical”. There are 8 definitions of marriage in the Bible, only one of them is considered acceptable by today’s Christians and mainstream society. But the Bible also says rapists should marry their victims. I could go on and on with the other definitions go read the first six books of the Bible. You’ll get my drift.
Dan Cathy also took a swipe at us, Chopper. He said “we’re all married to our first wives, Thank God for that.” Really? so does that make you and I, Chopper, inrepentant, wanton sinners destined for hell because we chose to get hate and strife out of our lives and be better parents to our children?
That’s intolerance. This lifting up of Dan Cathy as some sort of martyr for Christian beliefs is preposterous. He’s a gay hater. His business has ben sued many times for racial dsicrimination in their hiring practices.
Put me in the “I won;t eat and Chick-Fil-A and I stand in support of my gay, lesbian, bi, transgender brothers and sisters”. Our constitution says “all men are created equal”. We spent 180 years denying right to people of color and killing native americans. Now, we’re treating homosexuals like second class citizens. Under our laws, same-sex couples should not be denied access to their dying loved ones in hospitals. Sally Ride just died, and her partner of almost 30 years can’t get her social seccurity benefits.
Dan Cathy is a symbol of what’s wrong with us as a society. This is more than chicken.
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lol…Really? I am SHOCKED! To say “I know the Bible well enough”…ESPECIALLY as a Pentacostal believer!!!! For the past 11 yrs I have been a Pentacostal believer…a far stretch from what I was raised as a Catholic. But to read your post…really shakes me! Homosexuality is an ABOMINATION unto GOD! I really think you need need to read the bible some more!
I’m not going to ignore you. You need to read the red letters, Jennifer. Those are the ones Jesus spoke. You just went against many of our savior’s teachings with your comment to me. Don;t apologize to me, though. Apologize to him. Hopefully, I’ll see you in the light, later. God Bless You, and I mean that.
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Lance, I did catch the whole married to their first wives thing. Didn’t personally take offense to this, that’s his opinion, whatever.
I don’t see it the same. He obviously isn’t an advocate of gay marriage, which I can also assume nor is he of the gay lifestyle. Again, his opinion, he has a right to it. As far as being intolerant, he would have been intolerant if he had called for forbidding gay married couples from eating in the restaurants, or if he would have gone on an all out bonanza taking out every gay person he finds…then he would have been intolerant.
But voicing his opinion and his personal beliefs regarding one lifestyle choice over another isn’t intolerant. That’s the point of the whole piece. We have distorted the word and its meaning to fit our own definition and to stir up trouble.
The very best thing each of these people could have done instead of labeling him gay hater, basher, intolerant, or whatever..is to simply have shut up. Don’t want to buy food in his restaurants, perfectly understandable. But to start with that rhetoric makes them look more like whiny brats who didn’t get the toy they wanted.
From an outsider who has no biased one way or another….I think they lost face and the mayors didn’t help their cause at all.
Okay. I’ll ignore the other commenter and answer you. Today is Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day. Appreciation of what? chicken? really?
Do people not realize they are pawns on games of hate and intolerance?
I am with you on not buying Cathy’s chicken. Because I have chosen not to. But rallying around the anti-gay marriage flag is awful.
Look, Jesus told all of us not to judge. We can rebuke, we can correct, but we cannot judge. That’s his and his father’s job.
In the United States it says in our Declaration of Indendence “ALL mEN ARE Created Equal”. That means, under ALL american laws, gay people should be counted the same as you and I. That means gay marriage should be legal. You and I know that marriage is a business deal to the government. Gay couples can be denied access to each other on their death beds, denied insurance coverages, wills, and social security benefits. That is discrimination.
Also, Chopper, I can;t be a deacon in my church because I’m on my second marriage. Many people look down on me for being on my second marriage. I do take it personally. I have that right.
Btw, this does not change my opinion of you, Chopper. I’m a huge fan of you the writer and the man.
Lance recently posted..100 Word Song – I Cut Like A Buffalo
Lance, I’ve given much thought, even before your response here, about the topic of judging. There are numerous versus in the bible to speak to this. Matt 7:1, 7:2-5 and John 7:24 to name a few.
I think we all must honestly admit, everyone judges every day. In fact, the moment we stop judging we will be taken advantage of, robbed, stabbed, or worse. Walk down the street on a dark night and as a figure comes from the shadows, of course I’m going to judge.
However, I think the bible while not clear specifically is clear incidentially when it comes to this loosely used word “judging”.
For example before we ‘check the speck in our neighbors eye, work on the log in ours’. Judging is also thinking of ourselves better than another person because of their station in life, their life choices, etc.
Think of the woman at the well in John 4. Clearly, based upon today’s definition of intolerance and judgement, Jesus did both. However he was just stating the facts as He knew them.
Brother, we will agree to disagree on this and I hope you will be tolerant of me.
Thank you Kyle…very well put!
Cathy is not being criticized for just his opinions and beliefs.. he is being criticized also because Chik-Fil-A profits are being used towards supporting groups that actively seek discriminate against LGBQT people.
Not agreeing with something is one thing. Even vocally condemning something is yet another thing. Actively supporting and providing money to organizations who are trying to ensure that a marginalized group of people are not granted the same rights as the general population, organizations that seek to spread lies about such a group, then that is absolutely deplorable.
Here’s a link to some of the organizations that Cathy supports:
http://nucleargrrl.com/2012/07/29/yes-chick-fil-a-supports-hate-groups/
This is not about people simply not liking or agreeing with Cathy’s opinion.
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Thanks Andie, as a professed Christian organization it’s likely their charitable giving will be directed towards those organizations that espouse the general beliefs of the company itself.
How those organizations go about their particular business is obviously a different question entirely.
That being said, those who oppose the message from Chick fil a can most effectively make their displeasure felt by withholding their business from the company.
But by recent reports the backlash from the LBGT community to boycott the restaurants only fueled more support for the organization. Rumors were lines have been out the door in a good number of stores since this story originally broke.
WOW – heck of a can of worms you opened up here, Kyle! Dan Cathy’s remarks have stirred up a great deal of turmoil, that’s for sure. I believe that Mr. Cathy was entitled to his opinion. I don’t agree with it, but that’s my right, just as much as it is his right! I know that much of the conflict also focuses on the fact that he was speaking not just as an individual, but the head of a corporation. It is a fine line to walk for the leader of any company to espouse views like these… it’s why we don’t hear them often.
Mr. Cathy’s stance on homosexuality, like the stance on being closed on Sundays, is his prerogative as long as it does not violate any discrimination laws. If people disagree with his stance – don’t do business with Chick-Fil-A! If you are a member of the LGBT community and employed by Chick-Fil-A, then you probably should have an honest conversation about whether working there is the right move for you… no differently than a solar energy advocate working for an oil conglomerate.
Candor in any leader of a big company is rare, and I will applaud Mr. Cathy for expressing his opinion even as I disagree with it. The truth is that there are a great many leaders that harbor biases and prejudices, and make important decisions based on them. They just mask their motives.
I always turn to a quote from Stephen Covey: “Be a light, not a judge.” Strive to be your best self, aspire to greatness. No one ever lost out by being too kind, too merciful, or too loving.
Great post (and replies), Kyle!
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DT,
I love how people say not to judge….most of them don’t even know what that actually means. EVERYONE judges. Everyday.
Lance, I will not ignore you either… nor will I fight with you about this. Why? Because I have read the “red letters” and don’t need to defend what the bible/JESUS said…HE does that all by HIMSELF. Read verse 9! As far as what JESUS said about not judging? You took it out of content. But like you said “I know the Bible well enough”… it’s not about knowing it well enough…we should KNOW it period. But when you read it does the Spirit of the LORD lead you to understand it also? Or are you just reading the words?
On another note: I don’t know how your “church” is about your 2nd marriage…that’s between your leadership & GOD. I know that GOD said the only “biblical” basis for divorce is adulatory. I know that when I get married again it will be BLESSED because of the sin of my ex-husband.
On another note: I didn’t know that today was Chick-fil-A “appreciation day” … I went to eat & get Rock the Desert “christian” concert ticket for me & my boys.
Yes I am HOPEFUL that I will see you in the light…but with your belief & support of homosexuality… *sigh* not sure it will happen.
1 Corinthians 6
(NKJV)
1 Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unrighteous, and not before the saints? 2 Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world will be judged by you, are you unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
3 Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, things that pertain to this life?
4 If then you have judgments concerning things pertaining to this life, do you appoint those who are least esteemed by the church to judge?
5 I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you, not even one, who will be able to judge between his brethren?
6 But brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers!
7 Now therefore, it is already an utter failure for you that you go to law against one another. Why do you not rather accept wrong? Why do you not rather let yourselves be cheated?
8 No, you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do these things to your brethren!
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites,
10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
I won’t say Mr. Cathy is being sanctimo joys or arrogant. I think as a businessman, he’s being stupid. Jesus doesn’t care who likes chicken. But people care what other people think. And what people think affects their behavior. In one fell swoop, Mr. Cathy alienated a entire sector of chicken buying patrons by spouting off. He can stick to his convictions, no one should fault him for that. But he should be prepared to be judged for them. That’s life.
So, just as he can think and say what he wants about marriage, others can think and say what they want a out him.
NOTE: Let’s make something very clear. Mr. Cathy did not say HE supported biblical marriage, he said WE support biblical marriage. I’m sure he doesn’t speak for everyone at Chick-Fil-A. Maybe that’s where he’s being sanctimonious.
Couple of points, Chick Fil A, at least where I’m from, never seemed to be hurt by his words. In fact, most days you can’t find a parking spot at any of their locations. And secondly, as CEO of a company he is speaking for that company, and anyone who chooses to work for that company (i.e. him) understands the organizations moral and religious stance. So while there may very well be individuals who support gay marriage, they are, and rightfully so, being ‘lumped in’ as it were with everyone else.
That’s only under the assumption that companies have the same rights as people. My boss doesn’t speak for me when it come to ethics or morality. Neither should anyone else’s.