Is there anything more explosive than that powder keg called child support? For some, it’s a right and reward, for others the monthly reminder of a biased legal system, or a bad attorney.
There’s a saying I routinely use on my kids and employees, ‘Perception is reality.’ In other words, how someone sees the world is how the world really is, at least to them, and whose reality everyone else must cope. Granted, that perception might be distorted or entirely wrong, but it’s real until that perception is changed.
As I consider my approaching marriage to the Queen, there are two topics that scare the shit out of me: kids and money. Both are dripping with danger and disagreement for obvious reasons, and because of that, most remarrying couples don’t give them the attention they deserve, until it’s too late.
Divorce should take us on a journey, one that leads us, in time, through the Valley of Introspection. Arriving there, we should begin looking at ourselves critically and asking hard questions, ‘How did I come to this?, ‘What am I learning from it all?’ ‘Where can I grow?’ Those who abandon this uncomfortable soul-searching and miss out on the lessons learned invariably bring those same bad habits and behaviors, and by consequence the same bad results, into all future relationships. We can’t fix what we don’t know – or won’t admit – is wrong. Is it any wonder second marriages fail at a higher rate than first marriages?
There is always a danger when two roads merge; warning signs and flashing lights signal to drivers the peril lying ahead. It’s only through awareness, patience, and diligence that collisions are avoided. Remarriage shares similar risks as two divergent and often complicated pasts join into one shared future.