The pitfalls of dating as divorced parents are well documented. But how to date as a one is regularly ignored. We get so caught up in attempting to find the who, looking for the right mix of partner AND parent, that we may become drunk on romantic bliss when we find him or her, forgetting that how we should date this person is no less important.
Shortly after I started this website I wrote an article that remains one of the most clicked, most read, most shared. In that post, A Manifesto On Absent Fathers, I take behind the woodshed single and divorced dads who abandon their financial responsibilities, then offer up an extra-hot serving of contempt for the ones who walk away from their kids altogether. In the concluding paragraphs of that piece I write,
In this episode of He Said She Said, Laura and I talk about the danger of expectations. And how out expectations, especially those that come from painful events in past relationships, are usually the same ones that damage our future relationships.
In this episode of Ask Papa, I answer an email from Callie who is wondering if she should wait for her boyfriend – a single dad – while he takes care of his kids?
As the cultural war on marriage continues, barrages of white-hot contempt are released with every new celebrity divorce and Beltway sex scandal. Yet the critics of marriage, those considering it a biological illusion and social imposition because 50% end in failure, don’t take their argument to its obvious and tragic conclusion. While many sociologists and jilted spouses point to prairie voles and your shitzu for evidence that humans aren’t wired for lifelong faithfulness and to think otherwise is ignoring the obvious, they stop short of admitting that we’re little more than highly evolved sluts.
In this episode of ‘Ask Papa’, I answer an email from a father calling himself Wonderful Dad who is looking for advice on how to handle a problem is having with his new girlfriend. His story provide the perfect illustration of why every single parent must ask this one question before they start dating someone new.
As the Queen and I move another step towards our second, and God willing, last marriage, I can’t help but reflect on the couple we’ve become and consider the changes that will inevitably follow after we exchange vows and begin our life as husband and wife.
Today I’m answering an email from Tammy and talking about the pitfalls of falling in love with a deadbeat parent.