It was January ’89 and I had just completed a tumultuous week of fraternity hell sealed by oath to never reveal what happened. After twelve final hours, aptly named Hell Night, of what I sometimes thought would be my death, the chaos ended in a drunken salutation that my blindfolded, beer soaked, humiliated pledge brothers and I were no longer toilet scum but members fraternally bonded in brotherhood.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13 4-7
My separation and divorce wouldn’t make for great television. We were off a hundred or so dollars in child support, a point on which I finally caved. The legal fees would cost more than winning the compromise. She and I divvied the furniture, pictures, and Tupperware with little friction.
There’s a saying I routinely use on my kids and employees, ‘Perception is reality.’ In other words, how someone sees the world is how the world really is, at least to them, and whose reality everyone else must cope. Granted, that perception might be distorted or entirely wrong, but it’s real until that perception is changed.
It’s natural to look for silver linings. To search out the tiniest good in what seems an ocean of hopelessness is evidence of God’s handiwork in our very humanity. That is a wonderful thing; without it would make for a miserable existence.
She was attractive with a social personality, yet possessed a subtlety that led me to believe hers had been a life of frequent disappointment. I considered this a tempting quality; a challenge frankly, to be the first and perhaps only man who wouldn’t let her down.