Rearview Roadkill: Divorce

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  I’m glad to be a single dad

  Being a single parent has roughly the appeal of syphilis. A lifetime of bitterness, anger, and guilt isn’t a top contender when the genie asks for three wishes; and little boys and girls don’t dream of futures with child support, separation agreements, and visitation rights. At a fundamental level, we understand that children do better [...]

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  Our chemical romance

    “Better living through chemistry.” Those were the words she used; hijacked from a Madison Avenue attempt at touting the benefits of modern science and big business, she oversold the phrase the same way suburban moms brag about their dependence on a good Cabernet; as if both were a toast to feminine independence. I wasn’t [...]

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  Marriage counseling is for married couples

  I’ve only bought one brand new car in my life. I had graduated college three years earlier and my ’88 Chevy Cavalier, with the aftermarket spoiler and rear window sticker that read ‘Ultra Cool’ didn’t ooze the persona of a wannabe financial mogul. I learned early on that in order to land the role, one [...]

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  How to have an affair in 5 easy steps

  Sex scandals are cultural catnip. We feed on them like drugs perpetually jonesing for the next hit, then reminded of the foul taste we just as passionately spew them out. The most titillating of these carnal transgressions is marital infidelity, or as I rather like-  the Old Testament sin of adultery. A castle industry has [...]

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  Down the isle kicking and screaming

  The death of a marriage, much like the death of any living thing of infinite value, demands a post mortem; the process whereby we agonizingly poke, prod, and dissect the remains in search of the particular agency which prompted its demise. If done soberly and thoroughly, this process quite often results in those sought after [...]

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  What would you do to save your marriage?

  It was the defining point of our marriage; a moment that upon reflection signaled the beginning of its end, I only lacked the perceptive powers to understand it at the time. We had a standing appointment every Sunday that had been ongoing for half our marriage. This unassuming fact alone should have been sufficent evidence [...]

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  2012 Redux – the good, the bad, and 20 posts I’m kinda proud of

  This is the second year of Chopperpapa. Frankly I’m surprised to have made it this far without throwing in the towel, 80% of blogs fold in the first 90 days never to be resurrected. If that’s true it means I’m well beyond puberty now. I’ve learned one thing from it all, practice does come with [...]

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