When it finally set in that I would become another marital statistic, albeit outlier – we were educated, from intact families, and financially comfortable, any by itself putting us, demographically speaking, ‘above’ divorce – one thing became very important. I would do whatever necessary to make my children feel at home in my new house as they would at hers.
How a couple deals with relationship conflict may be the single best measure to the success of that relationship. The reason is simple; it’s those raw moments that typically reveal who we are as individuals, and as couples. We can’t hide harsh tempers or judgmental natures, sharp tongues or condescending attitudes in the midst of severe and passionate disagreements.
Sometimes it requires a thing so completely providential as an Internet hack to remind us of the importance of a promise. Yet amid the nuclear fallout from the Ashley Madison breach continuing to rain down, voices will crescendo attempting to distract us from that realty.
Age brings rolling avalanches of sentimentality. As the days in the rear view begin outnumbering those in the windshield, one starts feeling the draw of former things. For me this is most acute for anything to do with college. While some didn’t enjoy their college experience, though I don’t know a single one, for me it remains perhaps the most memorable four years of my life.
Perhaps our greatest notoriety, as a couple, is the Queen’s and my perpetual wandering. Our social media timelines often resemble a vacation brochure of sorts depicting our travels near and far. More than once a stranger has walked up to me at the gym or on the street claiming to know me from the Queen’s Facebook page and a picture of she and I before some tropical or majestic canvas.
To say I’m a ‘money man’ is a tragic understatement. Not because I have a great deal of the stuff, you understand, but because I’m quite good at doing with what little I possess. This wasn’t always so. I received a trifling of financial advice from my parents and during high school I chose a dead language over learning to balance a checkbook.
“Blood is thicker than a marriage certificate”. This fact was learned well before the Queen’s and my future marriage became present reality. Back when we lived in different homes, had individual bank accounts, and spent nearly half of each month not sharing our lives; she and I began to understand there would be limits when we did become ‘one flesh’.